So the last week was definitely a difficult week for me. I had to really stick up for myself and do what needed to be done. In every persons life, people come to realizations that certain relationships may have to be terminated. Whether it be a work relationship, a friendship, an intimate relationship and we all have our reasons. I had to move on and think about what is best for me. I felt the relationship had a negative impact on me and my health. I had to break off an engagement and almost 2 year long relationship with C. I am okay, and I will always love him. But we both need to do whats best for us and I wish him all the best in life and on his deployment to Libya.
One thing I told myself this year was that I needed to look out for number one: myself. I am a lover and I care a lot. I love to care and make sure everyone else is okay before myself. I want to make sure that the people I care about most are happy and feeling good. Unfortunately, this can have an impact on my happiness if I neglect it for long enough. So now that I am on my own, I know what I need to focus on. MYSELF and all those things I have such passion for. I have so many amazing people in my life. Amazing family, friends, coworkers and even my social networking friends. To see my subscribers from half way around the world email me to make sure I am okay and still smiling, it makes me realize that there truly are some great people in this world.
When I moved out of my living situation with my old roommates back in 2010, I promised I would surround myself only with people who mattered, that were positive, and loved me for me. I went through a very tough year in 2009 to 2010, mainly because people could not understand this lifestyle change I had set for myself. I had woken up and realized the party scene was not my thing, that I wanted to mentally and physically better myself, and I wanted to be a positive influence out there. Many of my relationships were affected greatly by this. The fact that I did not see a point in drinking myself silly, eating myself until I was sickly full and just being all around lazy, made people act very differently around me and I felt poorly treated. Out of the whole situation I maybe had one or two friends stay by my side and that was tough for me. Really seeing the amount of people in my life at that time walk away simply because I wanted better for myself really hurt.
This is where I became more passionate about running. I realized I had to get out there and make a change. There was no way I was sitting on my butt in bed with my two boyfriends.. I mean... ben and jerry :P.. and moping around feeling pity for myself. I joined the running room and met some AMAZING people. These people know me a bit better then most people do I feel like sometimes. Believe me, you really get to know people when you are marathon training together. After running for 3 hours, some of the funniest things come out of your mouth! After training 600 km in a season together, you know the people like the back of your hand.
The running room definitely made me blossom and realize that I wasn't this shy girl anymore. I was a young confident woman that could go into social situations like this, and feel comfortable, feel like I could hold a meaningful conversation with a person that I hardly knew! Running was my life changer. Not only did it physically change me, but it changed me as a person. Made me much more confident about myself as an individual as well as my own body. I KNOW I can conquer anything!...just let me go for a run first ;)
So if you are asking if I am okay after this breakup, all I can say is I am more then okay. Yes like I said, I will always love him. But I gotta do whats best for me and so does he. I have my running, I have my weight watchers, I have my amazing amazing family and friends. Life goes on and I am excited for a new path to hike up :). I will keep surrounding myself with positive and loving people and keep on truckin'.
And lastly, thank you ALL so so soooo much for reaching out to me when I was down last week. You definitely helped get me out of my slump. I love each and every one of you!
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