Learning to let go..

Though I have been at goal for a little while now, I still have a tendency to hold on to things that are so not worth the worry. What I mean is, I am REAL good at guilting myself for treating myself. It is and will always be a struggle for me.

When I started my weight loss I went cold turkey. None of this "baby steps to a healthier life" kind of stuff. I simply cut out everything I labeled as a "bad" or "junk" food and started running. This is just how I tend to deal with things. If I want change bad enough, I will do the extreme (and in a healthy way.. I don't mean starving myself by any means.. I love food to much! :P).

This weekend, my goal is to try and let go. I am not going to go over board but I anticipate having a treat here and there. Matt and I are currently seated on the ferry over to the mainland. We are going over to the PNE (pacific national exhibition). I will explain to you what the PNE has and always will be for me.
I have gone to the PNE almost EVERY year growing up (there has only been a few years that I have missed). When I think PNE, I think: delicious delicious food, animal petting zoos, animal races (the pig and duck races are my fave), roller coasters and other rides, cotton candy, dog shows, outdoor concerts, lottery prize home, and family.

Now when I say delicious delicious food, I refer to foods I know that have a Pointplus value totally out of this world. Footlong hotdogs, homemade fudge, homemade scones (totally my personal fave), mini doughnuts, homemade chips, corn on the cob, white spot burgers and many other things.

I often have people telling me "Jenn..you are training for a marathon.. you can get away with eating this once in a while." Yes, I realize that, but I am pretty hard on myself with what I refuel my calories with. I can't refuel with junk food and expect a good day full of bubbliness and energy. (generally I can expect the total opposite). I realize its okay once in a while, but I still beat myself up for it. This is something I need to work on, because guilting myself is not a positive energy. It will not get me anywhere, it will just make me feel overwhelmed.

So today at the PNE I vow to make today a day in which I don't fret about my waistline or the number on the scale. I will enjoy myself and enjoy being with my amazing family and amazing boyfriend. I will let go and move on if I do have a treat here and there. Learning to let go will definitely be a life long lesson.