So Today was a reminder that I still have a lot of stuff to work on in regards to weight loss and health (I will not be showing pictures for this blog because I am a little annoyed with myself to say the least...read on).
I started the day off well. Smoothie for pre workout, 13 km run and greek yogurt with fruit for post workout. My run was so enjoyable I wanted to keep going, but I had class so I packed it in. I showered up, made a video and went off to school. I got to my class to see the Prof cancelled class without an email notice. Lovely. So I hoped on the bus back home. I stopped in at the market to pick up olive oil, and at a local running shop to ask a few questions. Once I got home I decided to attempt making 2-3 point muffins. Which I did, and they turned out nicely.
I then waited around until I was to go for spin class as I usually do on Monday afternoons. However around 3 pm someone was rattling the door handle to my apartment which freaked me out so I ran to the door to check the peep hole and all I saw was a shadow briskly walking toward the elevator. Awesome. That isn't scarey at all for a woman who lives on her own! -_- So basically that shut down my plans to go to spin, I didn't really want to leave my apartment and be all rattled over it. So I popped the spaghetti squash in the oven for left over dinner I had in the freezer. I ate dinner FAR too early. I then was feeling kind of crappy that I wasn't that productive today. Had plans to clean and do all these errands but I didn't and top of it all I was feeling a bit lonely. I don't really know what that was about as usually I am fine with doing what I need to do by myself at home. I really was missing my boy but he is at sea until Friday.
I then ate dinner, way too much of it and had a WW 2 point bar... then I had one of the super market WW mini cakes.. and lets just say I ate WAY too much of everything in my fridge. One of the reasons I was overweight for much of my life was the fact that I would binge on food for various things going in my life. I was sad, I was angry, I was stressed. AKA emotional eating. I would go through a "frenzy" like phase and just eat and eat and eat until I felt sick. Tonight felt like a mini one of those frenzies. I feel absolutely horrible about myself at the moment due to that and it took a lot for me to admit that on the blog. But I did commit to showing you all about myself and you know what, this just shows I will ALWAYS have something to work on. This IS a life long journey and struggle.
So I am not sure if what triggered this was because I felt lonely, because I am tired of school, because I am tired of pointless stresses in my life or because of the whole someone trying to get into my apartment thing.. either way I regret everything that went on. Ughh. My tummy hurts.
All I can say at this point...is tomorrow is a new day and I am gonna get my ass out of bed and work it out in the gym. I will NOT let this drag me down.
TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY.
1 comment:
Well done for admitting you had a little moment of weakness. It's reassuring to know you're human and can still have moments like these. I'm exactly the same - an emotional eater and if I don't get to workout, I get so 'niggled' by it and that just makes the slide (into the fridge!) even worse. LOL.
Sounds scary about the door rattler! Crikey! I'm on edge if something isn't right or something spooky happens like that. I basically live on my own, I have a teenage son but he's always out and he'd be the first one to run away and hide if something happened. Haha.
Hope Friday comes round soon and you can be reunited with Matt :)
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